In My Bed Page 10

  He gives me a lazy grin and hitches his thumb over his shoulder. “Thanks, but I’m going to just head home. It’s not that I don’t find you attractive, but we’ve both been drinking and I don’t think it would be the best idea.”

  My brows pull down a little confused, when suddenly I realize that he thinks I just invited him up for a little somethin’ somethin’. And I have to admit, that is what it sounded like. I do want that, but I planned on talking to Rachel before I get physical with him. And now, with everything that just happened between us, the emotional connection we’re starting to make, adding a physical connection may not be a smart idea.

  “Relax, Nate. I wasn’t inviting you up to fuck me. I was just thinking you could sleep on my floor so you don’t have to take a cab home.”

  His eyes widen a fraction before he shakes his head slightly and laughs. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll just head home.”

  “Are you sure? You live twenty minutes from here and you’d have to pay a bunch for the cab, even with the crazy amount money you saved by walking me home. We’re friends, Nate. You can sleep on my floor and I’ll sleep in my bed. No funny business.” I wink.

  “The wink isn’t that reassuring,” he responds with a smile.

  “You’re right. I totally plan on jumping your bones the minute the door closes,” I say sarcastically, giving him a half smile as we arrive at the entrance to my dorm. “Plus, I agree with you that we’ve both had too much to drink to make a decision like that. I never sleep with a guy when I’m this drunk. Don’t want any more regrets in my life, you know?”

  He laughs. “I know exactly what you mean.” He pauses and looks down for a moment before looking back up at me. “Okay, you’ve made some good points because cab fare is pretty steep. Lead the way. I’m sleeping on your floor tonight.” He opens the door to my dorm and steps aside so I can enter first.

  We walk up to my floor in silence, our shoes echoing in the stairwell. When we get to my room, I put the key in and open the door. My room is a little messy from getting ready with Rachel, so I reach down and grab all the clothes, throwing them into a pile in the corner.

  “Thanks for letting me stay tonight,” Nate says as I hand him a throw pillow and an extra blanket.

  “No problem. I can’t truly be friends with someone until we’ve had a sleepover. I usually prefer a little more girl talk and junk food, but tonight was fun.” I reach into my drawer for a tank top and lounge pants.

  “I can do girl talk. Remember, I have four sisters,” he says as he takes off his v-neck, leaving him in his undershirt and jeans. I’m standing totally still in the middle of my room holding my pajamas as he starts to unbutton his jeans. My heart starts racing as I watch his fingers move, sliding the button through the hole before he reaches for his zipper.

  The conversation we had on the walk home has left me confused about what I want from Nate and what I feel for him, and the beer brain isn’t helping. But if there is a way for me to get back on board with wanting to go for a hook-up, this is it. I clear my throat to make sure my voice is steady before I say, “I thought the plan was to not get naked together.” I watch his fingers as they pause in their task, the zipper of his pants halfway down.

  My eyes flash up at him when I notice his movement has stopped, and he’s watching me with a cocky smile on his face. He chuckles and tilts his head to the side. “I was going to sleep in my boxers and undershirt, but if you can’t handle the temptation, I can sleep in my jeans,” he teases, raising a brow. I don’t respond immediately, so he shrugs one shoulder and starts to pull up the zipper on his jeans.

  This is a challenge, and I never back down from a challenge. “I can handle it, Nate,” I tell him, even though I’m not sure I can. With lowered inhibitions, the temptation he poses is very, very … big.

  “Okay,” he says, finishing taking off his pants. I know he expects me to look, but I keep my eyes on him and off his goods, even though I nearly grind my teeth in the process. “Here, I’ll turn around so you can change. Just tell me when you’re done.”

  He turns around before even waiting for a response from me. When he does, my eyes wander down to his ass, and what a glorious ass it is. I’m pretty sure there is nothing hotter than Nate’s ass in boxer briefs.

  Never mind—I take that back. His naked ass would probably be even hotter.

  “You didn’t have to turn around,” I say, taking my dress off and putting on my pajamas.

  “I thought one of us getting eyeballed tonight would be enough,” he jokes, still facing the wall.

  “You can’t handle the temptation,” I say, seduction in my voice as I use his own words against him.

  “You’re probably right,” he replies, his voice low and rough, giving away how much thinking about me is affecting him. That one little sentence has turned me inside out. He’s not dirty talking, he’s not even looking at me, but the way he says it makes my body melt. I want to give in to the attraction. I haven’t talked to Rachel, I haven’t even fully evaluated what I want, but I’m drunk and feeling reckless—and I want him.

  But before I have a chance to make my move, he asks me if I’m done, his voice back to normal.

  “Yep,” I tell him as I pull my shirt on. I wait for him to turn around, expecting his gaze to be on me, but he just leans down and grabs his clothes from the floor, folding and setting them on my desk chair.

  When he finally turns back around to face me, he gives me a friendly smile. “Well, okay then.”

  We’re both standing across the room from each other, not sure what to do. I don’t think I’ve had a guy spend the night in the platonic sense in, well … ever. And the fact that I want to jump his bones—and it sounds like he may want to jump mine—is making this situation kind of sexually tense.

  “Okay. I’m going to shut off the light.” I put a big smile on my face and point to the light switch. I turn it off and walk across the room, climbing into my bed as I see his shadowy figure lie down on the ground.

  “Thanks again for letting me stay,” he says from the floor.

  “No problem, Nate.”

  “But now that I didn’t have to get a cab, I have all this extra money burning a hole in my pocket. I’m not sure what do with it. Any thoughts?” I can hear the smile in his voice.

  “Hmm … Invest it?” My grin lights up the dark.

  “That is an idea, but I was thinking that maybe I could take you out to dinner as a thank you for letting me stay over tonight.”

  I like spending time with him, but I don’t want to date him—I don’t want to date anyone—and it kind of sounds like he’s asking me out. “I like dinner, but don’t you think you would rather invest it. I mean, the return on that chunk of change would be crazy!”

  He laughs. “Well, since you helped me save it, I feel like I owe you some sort of percentage.”

  “Well, in that case, I can do dinner.”

  “Great. It’s a date.”

  “Date?”

  “It can be whatever you want it to be, Jenna,” he replies, his voice deep and low, the same tone he used earlier when he nearly made my melt to the floor.

  “I want it to be dinner with a friend. But there is always the possibility of more,” I tell him. I really hope he agrees to the more I have in mind.

  “So dinner with a friend looking for more?” It sounds like he’s also looking for more than just an ordinary friendship.

  “Definitely,” I say, unable to contain the big smile on my face.

  “Goodnight, Jenna.”

  “Goodnight, Nate.”

  ***

  I wake up the next morning to an empty floor. The blanket is folded and on my desk with the pillow on top. And sitting right on top of the pillow is a little note. I stretch out in my bed, feeling my muscles flex before I get up and walk over to my desk. I pick up the note and read the somewhat messy handwriting:

  Jenna-

  Thanks again for last night. I left early so I could go for a run. The wea
ther was supposed to be really nice at the beach this morning. Am I really mentioning the weather? Yes, I’m really talking about the weather, but it’s true. It’s also true that I can’t wait to see you tonight.

  Nate

  I start to get ready for my day with that mindset, but as my morning flies by I come to a realization—I‘m eager to get him into bed, but thanks to the little skips in my heartbeat, I have to recognize that there may be another reason I’m excited.

  And to that I say, Shut up, stupid heart.

  Chapter 9

  My thoughts may have taken a detour last night, but after accepting my feelings and denying them control, I’m back to myself.

  Rachel and I get our salads from the salad bar, we pick a table and sit down and start the girl talk. After talking a bit about her growing relationship with Jake, I bring up the fact that I want to pursue something with Nate. And even though she tells me that it’s okay with her, she doesn’t look sure.

  "So you don’t think that would be weird if I hooked up with Nate?” I don’t think it would be weird, but I don't want her to be uncomfortable with it.

  “Maybe a little, but I only ever kissed him, so not too weird. You like him?” she asks me, getting a hopeful smile on her face. I mean, I think it is every little girl’s dream for their best friends to date their boyfriend’s best friend.

  “I do like him. He’s funny and nice,” I pause in my description as I realize that’s the truth. He’s actually really great, and therein lies the problem. I can’t keep looking at him that way because it only makes it harder to deal with the feelings I’m shoving to the side. So I finish my description of Nate by saying, “but I can tell he likes it naughty.” I give her an exaggerated wink.

  “It’s fine with me, but I’m pretty sure he’s looking for a relationship,” Rachel tells me, causing my stomach to turn over a bit.

  I didn’t know that.

  Last night he seemed to be on the same page that I was on—wanting to sleep together, but holding back because we both had too much to drink. She told me that while they were dating he was interested in a relationship with her, but I’m not sure if he’d want that with me. The fact that he may not want a relationship with me causes me to doubt myself, and I don’t like the feeling, so I go on the defensive.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say. But you have to know that all guys are down for just sex if you offer it.” I smile and shrug a shoulder. But even though I’ve convinced myself that I only want a physical relationship with Nate, as I say it, my insides are twisting at the thought of limiting my relationship with him.

  “I don’t know, Jenna. We talked a little bit about it and he seems to be looking for something long term,” she says, sounding a little concerned. She knows what I look for in a relationship and she doesn’t think Nate will fit into the mold. I hate to admit it, but Nate has already broke the mold that my normal relationships fit into.

  “Like I said, that might be what he’s looking for, but I’m sure if another opportunity finds him he’d be willing to put his search for the one on hold.”

  I may be questioning my feelings for Nate, but I’m still certainly not looking to find my soul mate. There is a small chance that I may decide to pursue something more with him, but I’ll always have the memories of what happened with Simon to keep me falling too far down that rabbit hole. As much as I’m going to try and keep control over my emotional involvement with Nate, I’m starting to think it’s going to be impossible to keep my growing feelings for him out of it.

  ***

  I have the studio booked like I do every Sunday afternoon and I’m looking forward to spending some time dancing. I’ve got a theme for the day. I’ve picked my playlist in order to get in the right frame of mind for my dinner with Nate. When I get into the studio, I change from my jeans into something that I can more easily move in.

  I pull out my phone and scroll through my music until I get to my Getting Busy playlist. It’s full of those songs that make you want to move your body against another body. The whole time I’m dancing, I think of Nate. After an hour of solid dancing in the studio, I’m covered in sweat and I feel great.

  I have a meeting on my floor today, so I get changed and head back to my dorm. When I get there, I take a quick shower and get dressed in yoga pants and a T-shirt before I head to Jimmy’s room to go over the meeting agenda.

  His door is open, so I just go in and sit on his bed. “Hey, Jims.”

  “Hey, Jenn.” He turns his chair around so he’s facing the bed instead of his desk. “How’ve you been?”

  “Good. I’ve got a dinner planned tonight.” I give him a saucy smile.

  “Dinner? Are you sure that’s all you have planned?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

  “You know me too well. As a matter of fact, I have some after dinner plans for me and my friend Nate. I think we’ll be giving friendly a whole new meaning,” I insinuate with a wink.

  He laughs at my playfulness. “So Nate, huh?”

  “Absolutely. His body calls to mine. It’s a call I definitely can’t ignore.” Even if I’ve tried.

  “Are you sure it’s just his body calling?” he asks, getting a little too serious.

  Way to hit the nail on the head, Jimmy. He thinks I can’t see that there’s something more to my attraction to Nate, but I do see it. The truth of that matter is that even though I know there’s potential for something more to grow, I don’t want more. And I won’t act on my feelings because I’m choosing to keep my heart out of it.

  “Jeeze! What is it with you and Rachel? Not everyone is looking for their soul mate!” I say with a smile on my face, joking with him even though I really wish they would both drop the serious talk. I know what I want from life, and they are just going to have to deal with it.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll stop,” he says, holding his hands up in a peacekeeping gesture. “Let’s move on and talk about the stuff for the meeting this week.”

  “Let’s,” I agree, moving on to the reason I came to see Jimmy.

  ***

  I unlock my door and go to my desk, opening the drawer so I can get the folder I need for the meeting. When I close the drawer, I see the note that Nate left this morning and it makes me smile. I grab my phone from my pocket and send him a quick text.

  Me: Where are we going for dinner tonight?

  Nate: Lady’s choice… or I can surprise you?

  Me: Hmmm… surprise me :)

  Nate: You got it. Pick you up at 7.

  Me: OK :) See you then. What should I wear?

  Nate: Dress casual, but bring a jacket. It might get a little cold where we’re going.

  ***

  Nate was right. It’s pretty cold out here.

  Even though we’re in San Diego, the weather isn’t always seventy-five and sunny. In March, the days are mild, while the nights are cold. But tolerating the chill in the air is totally worth it because this view is amazing.

  Nate decided to take me to a Mexican restaurant by the beach and they have a roof-top bar with a view of the coast. When we sit down at a table near the edge of the roof, we can see the pinks and oranges color the sky as the sun sinks behind the ocean. It reminds me of all the reasons I love living here.

  The food at this restaurant is incredible. Living in San Diego, there is no shortage of taco shops, but this place makes fresh tortillas in house and they have to be the most incredible tortillas I’ve ever tasted.

  “Mmm … Seriously, Nate. This place is amazing. Great choice. So good …”

  He laughs as he finishes chewing his bite, the muscles of his neck working as he swallows his food. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man eat a taco so sensually. “Oh yeah? I wasn’t sure,” he says with a smile as he lifts his taco to his mouth to take another bite. I watch closely as his lips part right before he slides the food into his mouth. His teeth come down as he takes his bite, his lips touching again as his mouth closes and he starts to chew.

  “I�
��m definitely enjoying all of this,” I tell him, watching his throat move as he swallows his mouthful. And when I say all of it, I mean all of it. The food, the view, and even the conversation has been perfect. I’ve told him about my day and he told me about his. He spent his day at band practice, then went into the hospital for a work meeting about policy changes. I like hearing about another part of his life. It’s interesting to hear about his passion for his work.

  I take another bite of my taco as the waiter comes over to refill our drinks. “Thanks,” Nate says while the waiter pours water into our cups.

  “Another margarita?” the waiter asks me.

  “Mmm…” I mumble, shaking my head. I chew quickly to finish my bite so I can give him a real answer. “No, thanks.”

  He walks away and I look back at Nate, who is smiling over at me. “Don’t you hate that?” he asks.

  “Hate what?”

  “When the waiter asks you a question when you have a mouth full of food?”

  “I know. I’m sure it’s not intentional, but it always feels like that happens. And then you have to mumble and chew really fast so you can answer them.”

  He laughs. “You seem to have a lot to say about it.”

  “Hey, you’re the one who brought it up.” I smile.

  We keep eating and talking about ourselves, getting to know each other better. He asks me why I chose to teach dance, and I tell him about growing up as an aspiring ballerina. He seems a little shocked by that.

  “Why is that so surprising?”

  “It’s just I always pictured ballerinas as kind of stuffy and uptight.”

  “Again with the judging, Nate. When I met you, I thought you said you would stop judging people before you got to know them,” I tease.

  “I did say that.” He smiles.

  “And here you sit. Judging again.” His face falls a little. “I’m just messing with you, Nate. Everybody judges a little, and to tell you the truth, most of the girls I went to school with were stuffy and uptight. Maybe that’s why I changed my mind about becoming a professional dancer.”